Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What's love got to do with it?

Submitted by Tspoon:
I participated in an interesting conversation with a good friend today.  I don't exactly remember how the conversation began, but my friend (who I will call "Tina" to protect the "innocent"), who would be described as agnostic, was pondering whether or not she should attend her nephew's baptism.  Tina admits that she loves her nephew and wants to support him in principle, but she's conflicted.  Tina's father used to be a minister and christian counselor, and she grew up in the Southern Baptist church, thus she's a PK.  She earned a Master's of Divinity degree from well known university, so she really knows more about the bible than the average person. But Tina is also a lesbian; and that's where the conflict arises.  Not that she lives as a lesbian, but her family's response to her lifestyle choice.  She is debating going to her nephew's baptism, because now, after growing up in "religion" she personally feels that baptism is just a ritualistic tradition.  It no longer has any meaning to her.  She loves her nephew, but she doesn't love his religion - the religion that she actively participated in for most of her childhood and into early adulthood. 

Here's the crux of the issue: when Tina "came out of the closet", her evangelical Christian, Southern Baptist, Jesus-loving family disowned her. Eventually, they came back together, started speaking again, and allowed her to visit during the holidays, but the relationship is strained at best.  Case in point,  one day her sister-in-law pulled her to the side to serve notice to Tina, that her children will never know "what you are".  So now Tina is distressed about going to the baptism of her nephew because she feels that he is being "indoctrinated" into a set of beliefs -the set of beliefs that Tina grew up with - that she now considers misleading, because of her day to day experience with Jesus' "representatives".
Colossians 3:12 (ERV) reads 'God has chosen you and made you his holy people.  He loves you.  So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others.  Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient."  
I often see many cliques in the body of Christ.  We will minister to others, but only if they look like us , talk like us, dress like us, etc.  I certainly don't believe that every Christian is this way, but a lot of us are. We frequently say, "love the sinner, hate the sin", but when do we begin loving the sinner?  Tina is a lesbian.  Homosexuality is sin. But do I as a christian disown Tina because of her chosen lifestyle - her sin? Tina's family disowned her.  Her evangelical, Christian, Jesus-loving family told her that she was dead to them because of her sin.  There was no mercy, kindness, gentleness, patience. I wonder how different would things be if they had said, "Tina, we love you, but we disagree with your life choice, but we will get through this together".  Would she still feel the way that she does now about christianity and Christians?   We as Christians tend to try to make people live in bondage.  "You live the way we believe you should live or you are going to hell.", is what we say with our attitudes.  Why can't we just love the person and love the person no matter the sin.  Why do we look past the fact that Jesus told people that their sins are forgiven?  Why can't we just tell sinners that their sins are forgiven?

Do we tolerate the sin? No.  Do we back down from our beliefs?  No. But does our Christianity and righteousness require us to or give us license to judge people and condemn them to hell?  
"Those people are on a dark spiral downward.  But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again.  Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself.  It takes one to know one.  Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors." -Romans 2:1 MSG
Because of Tina's interaction with her "Christian" family, she feels that she is unable to celebrate her nephew's salvation - which is something that she wants to celebrate.  He is 10 years old and he made a decision to give his life to Christ; what an awesome thing to celebrate.  So when do we begin to love unconditionally?  When does it become more to us than just something that Jesus did when he was on the earth?  

Ironically, the subject of ministering to homosexuals came up in my Layman's Bible class just this past Saturday. A young lady in our class mentioned that she was in a position to minister to homosexuals, but sometimes she hesitated to do so because of "flack" or accusations from other Christians.  We are called to be a light unto the world and people are attracted to light, so why do we pick and choose who we want to show the light to?  Jesus said "Come, all you who are burdened and heavy ladened".  Jesus hung out with all who would come and receive what he was offering.  If they had something they needed to get rid of, he either told them about it so they could do something about it or cast it out of them.  And then he said to "Follow me".

I choose to follow Him and it is my desire to look like Him.  I love Tina and I tell Tina that God still loves her too. I wonder how different she would feel about attending and celebrating the outward show of her nephew's salvation if her family loved her the way Jesus did, and not as Christians do?

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